The Tolls of Addiction on Friends and Family

Many people who struggle with drug abuse and addiction use, "I'm not affecting anyone but myself" as justification for their actions. But nothing could be further from the truth. Friends and family members of addicts are not just affected, but often deeply wounded by an addict's actions. It's easy for an addict to ignore the effects addiction has on his family and friends because they are primarily emotional and mental.

Some friends and family members may feel guilty. They think they should be able to do something to make the addict quit, or wonder if they've done something to actually cause their loved one's substance abuse. They think if they loved the person enough, or in the right way, the addiction would never have happened.

Family members who live with the person battling addiction are most strongly affected, especially if the addict has been confronted and has denied having a problem. This can cause the entire family to go into a "conspiracy of silence," in which everybody knows the addict is in trouble but no one talks about it. It causes a tremendous amount of stress and makes healthy relationships between family members all but impossible.

Trust is often broken between an addict and her family and friends. A person who's addicted to drugs or alcohol will lie about what they're doing (or how much), and may resort to stealing in order to fund the addiction. If school or job performance begins to suffer, the addict's family may cover for her, especially if a family member struggles with co-dependency. Someone who is co-dependent will try to help the addict by continuing to make excuses - to themselves, the addict, the addict's employer, and other friends and family members.

When an addict refuses to get help, friends and family members are put in the unfair position of trying to offer the help needed for a loved one to get clean. Friends and family can become almost obsessive - looking for any sign of use - and over time, all mental and emotional attention is focused on the addict.

If the addiction goes on long enough, the effects may become physical as well. Not only does physical abuse sometimes occur, but the family begins to shift their entire routine to fit - and possibly cover for - the addict. A child may take on the responsibility of paying bills and managing money, or a parent may finish homework assignments. If the addict gets into legal trouble, family members may cover the expenses, such as posting bail, paying court and attorney's fees, and restitution costs.

All of these steps that friends and family members take to protect their loved one are done out of concern and love. But the clinical name for it is "enabling," and all it really does is allow the addict to continue to spiral out of control while simultaneously putting tremendous emotional and mental strain on the people trying to help.

If the addictive behavior goes on long enough, the worry and anxiety felt by friends and family will give way to anger. Resentment begins to build toward the addict because he is either unaware of the damage he's causing in other people's lives or simply doesn't care. Resentment builds when friends and family realize that they've bent their whole life's activities around helping and covering for someone who doesn't appear to care.

Addiction affects everyone who knows and cares about the addict. If the addictive behavior goes on long enough, damage to relationships may be irreparable. Though friends and family might try to tell themselves that everything will work out, or that things aren't really that bad, the truth is that addictive behavior only gets worse until someone intervenes or the addict hits "rock bottom."

If you know someone who struggles with substance abuse or addiction, don't wait until she has lost jobs, material possessions, or significant relationships. Try to get them the help they need now.

If you're someone who struggles with addiction, know that you're hurting not only yourself but the people you cherish most. Recovery isn't easy, but the alternative is far worse. Please make an effort to get the help you need.

Heroin Addiction at the Age of 13

Watch this video about a yourg girl who after drug rehab, has returned to a normal happy life.

Drug Rehab At It's Roots

Recovering from drug and alcohol is all about positive change. There is lots of motivation to get over an addiction though a rehab program. Leaving the financial issues associated with an addition before rehab is something to dream about. Don’t you want to live a life on the safe side of the law? Do you have constant fear or paranoia that you may be arrested? You can remove that fear and also be healthier while leading a vibrant life. Who doesn’t want that?

With all these reasons why is it that we find it so difficult to move past drugs and acohol addiction? First, its change; Change is hard, there is no doubt about it. You really have to put your foot down to make change, which is much easier said than done. Once we learn something, trying to do it differently feels uncomfortable and sometimes wrong. This is normal. You know the key is that if you feel uncomfortable it’s a clear sign that you are doing things right and working to make the change. If you aren’t feeling something, you’re not trying hard enough.
Stay Tuned for more articles on drug rehab, and good luck!